Thursday, October 1, 2009

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(We never post forwards but this is too interesting a satire to let go. It is hilarious. India has accused us of deliberately loosing which is impossible on a last ball decider. As Ponting said the conditions were so bad that they were just lucky to restrict Pakistan to 205. The accusation http://awaz.tv/playvideo.asp?pageId=5631 is good for fun not reality http://pkpolitics.com/2009/10/01/live-with-khalid-butt-1-october-2009/ ). Enjoy.

The Foreign Minister of India comments on Pakistan loosing to Australia...

CENTURION – Within minutes of Pakistan’s last ball defeat at the hands of Australia at the Centurion ground in South Africa, Indian Minister for Extrenal Affairs S M Krishna has sensationally pointed the finger at Kashmir-based militant group ‘Lashkar-e-Tayba’ which it alleges is supported by Pakistan’s InterServices Intelligence Agency (ISI).
‘We know there is no way Pakistan would have lost to Australia after being in a winning position towards the end. We have intercepted calls from Lashkar-e-Tayba masterminds made to the Pakistan dressing room in those last few minutes of the game. You can see whyMisbah-ul-Haqwent down and asked the physio came out with the message that they have to lose the game.’ He remarked.
Earlier, Home Affairs minister P Chidambaram had talked of Lashkar-e-Tayba using earnings from betting on allegedly fixed matches to fund what he called ‘Terror attacks’ on Indian soil.
“Its the oldest and quickest way to make money to be used for Terror attacks against India”, he said. “Daud Ibrahim has done it in the past and now Lashkar-e-Tayba has bought the Pakistan team and I suspect even the Australian team. The international community must take notice of this injustice on India and punish Pakistan severely. We will take this to the United Nations Security Council and get both teams banned
“Team India is the best team in the world at the moment and despite not winning any games in the ICC T20 and going out in this tournament, they will still be the number one team in the world. In fact we have arrested today a Pakistani ISI agent who masterminded the fixing the matches in the T20 World Cup in June this year”, added Chidambaram.
Reaction on the streets to India going out of the ICC Champions Trophyhas been surprisingly muted. Fans interviewed minutes after Australia’s victory at Centurion declared they never expected India to fare well in this tournament.
“Every time Pakistan plays we know the games are fixed by the ISI, Lashkar-e-Taiba, Daud Ibrahim and Al Qaeda. They know they cannot beat us fair and square so they have resorted to paying the officials and umpires to make it difficult for India to win. There’s no point watching cricket anymore whenever Pakistan is involved. I just want to kill myself”, said a teary-eyed 24 year old cricket fan in Delhi before jumping off the 7 ft high boundary wall around his slum and breaking his arm.
India is also said to be launching a probe into the rain that washed out their game against Australia on the 28th, giving a point each to both teams which led to India having to rely on Pakistan’s result against Australia today. Alleging the involvement of Chinese weather satellites, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has promised to investigate claims from his cabinet thatBeijing had assisted Pakistan’s ISI in changing the weather conditions at Centurion, causing a massive downpour that swept away India’s hopes and rested them firmly on Pakistan’s shoulders.
Meanwhile in another development, a few members of the Pakistancricket team had to be taken to hospital after being out of breath due to laughing uncontrollably at an Indian TV Programme.
‘The boys are fine, we just happened to tune into this programme, I think it was a comedy show, on Zee News in the dressing room and man those guys are hilarious, we just couldn’t stop laughing’, said star batsmanShahid Afridi before bursting into another fit of laughter and being stretchered off to the emergency ward himself.
NEWS JUST IN:
In response to the Indian allegations, Pakistan’s Interior Minister Rehman Malik called a press conference just moments ago and accepted the Indian claims as true, while promising a full investigation into ISI’s alleged link to the match result at Centurion today.

151 comments:

G.Rasool said...

It is so funny but come to think of it so true. India behaves exactly like this. Thanks for posting the links watched enjoying.

Gul said...

Apart from this Indian media cried and lamented a lot.. They are conmvinced we lost intentionally. If it was not a last ball decider may be I would have bought it. Ponting laid the issue to rest when he said how difficult it was to bat on that pitch and how lucky he was to restrict Pakistan to 205. India where were your ace bowlers Irfan, Munaf and Zaheer who bowl excellent and bat too. Why blame others for your bad team selection.

Nazeer said...

Indian media is very responsive. They just need somebody to blame. They are like our religious parties they will always blame somebody else for all our problems. India should be blaming its selection of team. Best players were sitting in India so how could they win in South Africa. Give the Muslims chance, encourage them and groom them, then see how India performs.

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Не для кого не секрет, что экономика Украины в настоящее время находится в кризисе. Не смотря на это, есть специалисты, которые под ширмой государственных служащих работают против государства, которое доверило им занимать высокие должности, оплачивает достойную заработную плату, но …?!
Одним из таких деятелей, является БУСАРЕВ ВЯЧЕСЛАВ ВАЛЕНТИНОВИЧ - председатель налоговой службы АР Крым. Личность, которую можно поставить в пример многим политикам, ведь Вячеслав Бусарев получил старт в карьере государственного служащего когда у власти была Партия Регионов, однако, остался при должности и до настоящего времени, когда Партия Регионов находится в оппозиции, а все почему?! Все очень просто, В.Бусарев работает на свой карман, а не для бюджета Украины, «кормит» вышестоящее руководство ГНА Украины и остается «своим» при любой власти в стране. Перейду к конкретике, подтверждающей все выше изложенное.
Существует такое понятие «налоговая яма», это предприятие, которое создает затратную часть предприятий-контрагентов посредством предоставления им налогового кредита. Проще говоря, помогает предприятиям контрагентам завышать свои затраты, тем самым минимизируя уплату налогов в бюджет, а иногда при миллионных оборотах предприятий сводит уплату налогов в бюджет к нулю. Как Вы понимаете, деятельность таких предприятий должна быть незамедлительно пресечена налоговой службой, но, под непосредственным контролем В.Бусарева на территории АР Крым были созданы и помогали скрывать налоги предприятиям Крыма и некоторых регионов Украины следующие «налоговые ямы»:

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Почему то, при якобы тотальном контроле со стороны налоговой, указанные выше субъекты без проведения проверок перестают работать, а на их месте создаются в один день от трех до пяти подобных предприятий, при чем регистрируются в один день, на одних и тех же лиц, также в один день выдается свидетельство плательщика НДС, при отсутствии расчетных счетов в банках.
Все вышеуказанные предприятия «помогли» своим контрагентам скрыть от налогообложения сотни миллионов гривен, а это бюджетные деньги страны. Соответственно, за «спасибо», т.е. бесплатно, указанные предприятия не существовали бы. Поэтому предприимчивый В.Бусарев обложил данную деятельность «налогом в свой карман», а именно, ставка этого «налога» составила 0,8% от валового оборота деятельности каждого из указанных предприятий, а это в итоге миллионы гривен. Но, как Вы понимаете, без поддержки сверху, такая «деятельность» не существовала бы. Поэтому В.Бусарев должен отдавать некоторую часть денег заместителю ГНА Украины В.Кайзерману, который взамен, за это поддерживает В.Бусарева и ежемесячно либо снижает планы поступления налоговой Крыма в бюджет, либо при угрозе его невыполнения корректирует в сторону уменьшения.
На указанном примере работы В.Бусарева, становится понятно, каким образом налоговики становятся миллионерами.

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